Our emoji etiquette guide schools you on lying, drooling, clown faces - CNET

Be sure to watch out for text receivers who don't know you're referring to Pinocchio, the wooden puppet whose nose grew every time he told a lie. It sounds improbable. But considering the fact so many Britons googled "What is the EU?" AFTER the UK voted to leave it, it's clear there aren't as many readers around as there used to be.

Drooling face: There's an inherent risk of using this emoji because it seems to imply that drooling or even mentioning the fact that you're drooling is acceptable in polite company. That only makes sense if humanity has been overtaken in some bizarre "Planet of the Dogs" scenario.

I realize this emoji can be used to express the metaphorical concept of drooling but that doesn't make it any less disgusting. I don't want to imagine what anyone looks like when they're drooling. Yes, it's a natural human function and everyone does it on occasion, such as when they try to rinse and spit at the dentist with a lip full of Novocaine or fall asleep with their mouth open during the new "Independence Day" movie. Still, keep your drool and your drooling face emoji to yourself.

Selfie: This emoji makes me feel that the entire world has moved into some weird dimension where time folds over itself and everything we perceive to be real is inverted.

Up is down. Black is white. Dogs are cats. We can now text icons to each other that inform people we're taking selfies instead of just taking and sending the actual selfies. What's next? A text message emoji for text messages?

It's not a completely useless emoji. It's just strange that we have it. For instance, you can use it to wa your contacts you're about to take a selfie. We all know someone with a short fuse who thinks civilization is one hair away from reverting to the Stone Age when they hear words like "selfie," "twerk" and "on fleek." So this will save them one less aneurysm or more specifically, it will save me from having one less aneurysm.

Clown face: NEVER USE THIS EMOJI. EVER.